Groucho: “I saw Mrs. Claypool first.  Of course her mother really saw her first but there’s no point in bringing the Civil War into this.”

Groucho: “And now, on with the opera.  Let joy be unconfined; let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.”

Groucho: “Have you got any stewed prunes? “
Steward: “Yes, Sir.”
Groucho: “Well, give them some black coffee.  That’ll sober them up.”