Welcome to LeslieHalliwell.com - celebrating Halliwell's Film Guide

Part 1: The Seventies LH’s distrust of modern movies was evident to anyone who has ever looked up their favourites in his book, and found out that he hated them all. In general he felt the latter-era films were a step down from the wit, charm and expertise of the old days. His essay The Decline and Fall of the Movie was written in the seventies and quotes a few
examples of the excessive behaviour of certain film-makers – all the more bizarre-seeming to LH, as the modern directors were so steeped in the history of the movies, and their favourites of old: John Ford, Orson Welles, Hitchcock etc., were indeed his own. These first few films best represent the decline he was talking about:

Jump straight to Part 2: The Eighties

The Devils (1970)
‘Despite undeniable technical proficiency this is its writer-director’s most outrageously sick film to date, campy, idiosyncratic and in howling bad taste from beginning to end, full of worm-eaten skulls, masturbating nuns, gibbering courtiers, plague sores, rats and a burning to death before our very eyes… plus a sacrilegious dream of Jesus. A pointless pantomime for misogynists.’
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Straw Dogs (1971)
‘Totally absurd, poorly contrived, hilariously overwritten Cold Comfort Farm melodrama with farcical violence.’

A Clockwork Orange (1972)
‘A repulsive film in which intellectuals have found acres of social and political meaning; the average judgement is likely to remain that it is pretentious and nasty rubbish for sick minds who do not mind jazzed-up images and incoherent sound.’

The Exorcist (1973)
‘Spectacularly ludicrous mishmash with uncomfortable attention to physical detail and no talent for narrative or verisimilitude. Its sensational aspects, together with a sudden worldwide need for the supernatural, assured its enormous commercial success.’

The Night Porter (1973)
‘A downright deplorable film, with no cinematic skill or grace to excuse it; the visuals are as loathsome as the sound is indecipherable, and the sheer pointlessness of it is insulting.’

For movies which were an offence to his intelligence rather than his sensibilities, however, look for…

The Long Goodbye (1973)
‘Ugly, boring travesty of a well-respected detective novel, the apparent intention being to reverse the author’s attitudes completely and to substitute dullness and incomprehensibility.’

At Long Last Love (1975)
‘An attempt to recreate the simple pleasures of an Astaire-Rogers musical; unfortunately true professionalism is lacking and the wrong kind of talent is used. The result is awful to contemplate.’

Lucky Lady (1975)
‘Whatever can be done wrong with such a story has been done, including irritatingly washed out photography, kinky sex, and sudden switches from farce to gore. None of it holds the interest for a single moment.’

The Last Tycoon (1976)
‘Astonishingly inept and boring big budget all-star melodrama which doesn’t even begin promisingly (the scenes from supposed thirties films are woefully inaccurate in style); it then bogs down in interminable dialogue scenes, leaving its famous cast all at sea.’

1941 (1979)
‘Absurdly over-budgeted manic farce which substitutes noise for wit and slapstick for comedy; it fails on every level.’

Some movies which retain high reputations today were also on the wrong end of LH’s judgements,
despite occasionally earning a couple of stars:

Get Carter (1971)
‘…sex and thuggery unlimited, narrative disjointed, rewards few.’

Jaws (1975)
‘…despite genuinely suspenseful and frightening sequences, it is a slackly narrated and sometimes flatly handled thriller with an over-abundance of dialogue and, when it finally appears, a pretty unconvincing monster.’

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
‘There’s a lot of padding in this slender fantasy… the technical effects are masterly though their exposure is over-prolonged… much of the dialogue is inaudible.’

The Deer Hunter (1978)
‘…presumably the audience has to guess the point, if any; meanwhile it may be repelled by this long and savage if frequently engrossing film.’

Alien (1979)
‘Deliberately scarifying and highly commercial shocker with little but its art direction to commend it to connoisseurs.’

Apocalypse Now (1979)
‘Pretentious war movie, made even more hollow-sounding by the incomprehensible performance of Brando as the mad martinet. Some vivid scenes along the way… but these hardly atone for the director’s delusion that prodigal expenditure of time and money will result in great art.’

Box office success offered no guarantee of a rave:

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
‘Witless spy extravaganza in muddy colour, with the usual tired chases and pussyfoot violence…’

Superman (1978)
‘Long, lugubrious and only patchily entertaining version of the famous comic strip, with far too many irrelevant preliminaries and a misguided sense of its own importance.’

There was, however, the occasional ‘product of a superior mind’. The following films all rated three stars:

Cabaret (1972)
‘…very smart direction creates a near-masterpiece of its own…’

The Godfather (1972)
‘A brilliantly-made film with all the fascination of a snake-pit…’

The Hot Rock (1972)
‘Enjoyable variation on the caper theme, with relaxed comic performances and highly skilled technical back-up. It’s refreshing to come across a film which hits its targets so splendidly.’

Don't Look Now (1973)
‘...whatever its overall deficiencies, it is too brilliant in surface detail to be dismissed.’

The Towering Inferno (1974)
‘…worth seeing for its cast of stars, its sheer old-fashioned expertise, and its special effects.’

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
‘…this amusing and horrifying film conveniently sums up anti-government attitudes as well as make love not war and all that…’

Taxi Driver (1976)
‘The epitome of the sordid realism of the seventies, this unlovely but brilliantly made film haunts the mind and paints a most vivid picture of a hell on earth.’

Star Wars (1977)
‘…in view of the hullabaloo, some disappointment may be felt with the actual experience of watching it… but it’s certainly good harmless fun, put together with style and imagination.’

…and the occasional grudging praise was conceded for a worthy effort:

Badlands (1973)
‘A violent folk-tale for moderns; very well put together if somewhat lacking in point, it quickly became a cult film.’

Young Frankenstein (1974)
‘…the gleamingly reminiscent photography is the best of it, the script being far from consistently funny, but there are splendid moments.’

Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)
‘Violent but basically efficient and old-fashioned programmer which shows that not all the expertise of the forties in this then-familiar field has been lost.’

Rocky (1976)
‘Pleasantly old-fashioned comedy-drama with rather unattractive characters in the modern manner. Despite the freshness, on the whole Marty is still preferable.’

Saturday Night Fever (1978)
‘…the slick direction, fast editing and exciting dance numbers do something to take away the sour taste.’

Part 2: The Eighties

After the excesses of the Seventies, surely things were set to
improve with the onset of a new decade..?

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Heaven’s Gate (1980)
‘Totally incoherent, showy western which was lambasted by critics and quickly withdrawn. A vital turning point in Hollywood policy, hopefully marking the last time a whiz kid [Michael Cimino] with one success behind him is given a blank cheque to indulge himself in self-abuse.’

So that was that for director-worship, but fortunately for the industry the new era brought a much younger audience to the cinema, and the films were made to order. LH, however, remained unimpressed:

Conan the Barbarian (1981)
‘Intolerably doomladen, slow-moving and mainly unintelligible rubbish…’

Dune (1984)
‘…inaudible, invisible (because of dim lighting) and unentertaining: a disaster of the very first order.’

Friday the Thirteenth: The Final Chapter (1984)
‘The awful mixture as before: would that the title meant what it says.’

Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock (1984)
‘Very silly, empty and unamusing follow-up. Let us hope fervently that the adventure does not continue.’

The Breakfast Club (1985)
‘Abysmal apologia for loutish teenage behaviour.’

Rambo: First Blood Part Two (1985)
‘Absurdly overwrought comic strip action which shamefully caught the mood of America at the time of release.’

Rocky IV (1985)
‘Hilarious, hysterical, would-be allegorical, this is the pits…’

Shanghai Surprise (1986)
‘Astonishingly abysmal adventure romance…’

Top Gun (1986)
‘A feast of hardware and noisy music; not much story.’

Creepshow 2 (1987)
‘Cheapjack sequel, of no interest whatsoever.’

Once again, some films which have a high reputation today weren’t exactly raved about in the Guide:

Raging Bull (1980)
‘Powerfully made but very violent and alienating ringside drama.’

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
‘…this attempted wrap-up of the Saturday morning serials of two generations ago spends a great deal of money and expertise on frightening us rather than exciting us; in Dolby sound the experience is horrendous. Second time round, one can better enjoy the ingenious detail of the hero’s exploits and ignore the insistence on unpleasantness; still, there are boring bits in between, and the story doesn’t make a lot of sense.’
_

Blade Runner (1982)
‘Gloomy futuristic thriller, looking like a firework display seen through thick fog, and for all the tiring tricks and expense adding up to little more than an updated Philip Marlowe case.’

Brazil (1985)
‘An expensive, wild, overlong, hit-or-miss Orwellian satire: enough good jabs to please the intelligentsia, but a turnoff for patrons of the local Odeon.’

OK, well surely LH could find some entertainment value in the more light-hearted films of the era?

Smokey and the Bandit 2 (1980)
‘More mindless chasing and crashing, with even less wit than before and rather more wholesale destruction.’

Porky’s (1982)
‘Ghastly teenage goings-on taking cinema bad taste just about as far as it will get.’

Ghostbusters (1984)
‘Crude farce with expensive special effects…’

Police Academy (1984)
‘Appallingly unfunny series of snippets about police training… within two years Police Academy 2 and Police Academy 3 had followed: neither requires detailed examination.’

Spies Like Us (1985)
‘Inept attempts at humour fall flat throughout this dreary venture…’

Some of them did, however, warrant that famous reluctant deference:

An American Werewolf in London (1981)
‘Curious but oddly endearing mixture of horror film and spoof… the special effects are notable…’

Diner (1982)
‘…a little masterpiece of observation… but not necessarily a great film.’

Trading Places (1983)
‘Surprisingly witty comedy, which while not aspiring to great heights, and marred by a few excesses, brought a refreshing breath of air to a declining genre.’

Fletch (1985)
‘A lightness of touch unusual for the eighties makes this comedy mystery more welcome than most.’

The Colour of Money (1986)
‘Slackly told but consistently enjoyable adventures…’

Angel Heart (1987)
‘…this wallow in the private eye cult consistently takes the eye with its pictorial qualities, even at its most nauseating.’

Dirty Dancing (1987)
‘Mildly agreeable variant on Saturday Night Fever…’

But of course there were occasional successes, though not all without qualification. The following were awarded three stars in the Guide (four just wasn’t possible in this era):

Chariots of Fire (1981)
‘A film of subtle qualities, rather like those of a BBC classic serial. Probably not quite worth the adulation it received, but full of pleasant romantic touches and sharp glimpses of the wider issues involved.’

Gandhi (1982)
‘… the remarkable things about the film are first, that it was made at all in an age which regards inspirational epics as very old hat; and secondly, that is has brought to life so splendid a leading performance. Beside these factors the sluggish pace and the air of schoolbook history seem comparatively unimportant.’

The Killing Fields (1984)
‘Brilliantly filmed, but probably too strong for a commercial audience to stomach, this true adventure tosses one into the horror of modern war and leaves one reeling despite its comparatively happy ending.’

Back to the Future (1985)
‘Lighthearted Twilight Zone fantasy which certainly pleased the international multitudes.’

Witness (1985)
‘…this is one of those lucky movies which works out well on all counts and shows that there are still craftsmen lurking in Hollywood.’

Hannah and her Sisters (1986)
‘Even though it has nowhere in particular to go, and certain scenes are over the top, this is a brilliantly assembled and thoroughly enjoyable mélange of fine acting and New Yorkish one-liners, with particularly sharp editing and a nostalgic music score.’

But despite these exceptions, Halliwell would never fall in love with modern movies the way he did with the oldies:

…of today’s crop I have soon had my fill. Most of them are obscurely told; they tell me things I don’t wish to know, in language I find offensive; and they concern characters whom I would willingly cross the road to avoid. Cheap colour makes them unattractive to look at, and all the old studio crafts, so

laboriously learned over a quarter of a century, appear to have been jettisoned in favour of obscenely large budgets which allow the film-maker to wander restlessly around the world crashing real aeroplanes and giving a distorted view of real locations instead of setting his own and the audience’s imaginations to work.

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